Your refrigerators running, better go and catch it

2002-10-26T16:25:00.000-04:00

Bah. Where to post? Well I finally was able to get a live journal code for free. You have to have another member get you a code in order for you to use it-or else you have to pay. So I have one now, and I like their setup better than blogger so I am going to use it for my postings-If you want the link all you have to do is ask me and I'll give it to you. So...okay-catch ya on the flip side.

2002-10-09T21:18:00.000-04:00

The Top 15 Biblical Ways to Acquire a Wife

-Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
-Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3)
-Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. -- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)
-Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. -- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
-Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. -- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)
-Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib. -- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)
-Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place.
-That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman. -- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)
-Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife. -- David (I Samuel 18:27)
-Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.) -- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)
-Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. -- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)
-When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ...woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for -me." -- Samson (Judges 14:1-3)
-Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though). -- David (2 Samuel 11)
-Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea, it's the law). -- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)
-Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. -- Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)
-A wife?...NOT!!! -- Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)

2002-10-09T00:59:00.000-04:00

I love the word "tainted." Two reasons come to mind. One, I think about the song "Tainted Love," and I really like that song and the idea of 'tainted love' in itself. Two, I remember the night when Erik Sanderson had a party-we were making jungle juice in that huge plastic tub...Sam waved the vodka bottle over the tub and let it drip in while yelling "It's Tainted!!!" "It's Tainted!!!" as the vodka mixed with the kool-aid. PS I am on a drinking celibacy. Like most things I completely and randomly stop, concrete reasons? Maybe, maybe not. Nonetheless, It is. I hate (hate being the code word for jealousy in this case) Courtney! She is going to see Dirty O'Brien @ NYU. I tried telling Sam about the Strokes but she didn't talk to me. Maybe she was away from the computer, maybe she didn't want to talk. I don't know, what do I know? I'm an idiot. Sam not disliking me is key. Oh well, I should stop talking now. New topic: our town is the epitome of idiocy. The poll question come election time is about whether or not to add almost three dollars a month in taxes to contribute to a 3.6 million dollar project that only entails baseball diamonds, several fields, and a fucking concession stand. They plan to build two new parks (not even parks just some more soccer fields) by Dart Hill and fucking John Fitch Boulevard by Route 5, as well as adding ANOTHER field to Nevers and ANOTHER baseball diamond. If I had my way kids wouldn't need fancy dirt, grass, and plastic bases...you throw down a Frisbee or two, use a tree or mailbox, you got bases now just PLAY BALL GODDAMIT! Me and Kiera checked out and filmed the possible sites and it seems you'd have to cut down an awful lot of trees to make these parks...kind of ironic? Parks, preserving natural beauty...cutting down trees, the irony kills me. Anyways we got some stuff from the town clerk, a whole bunch of finances that obviously show it cost much, much more than perceived. In fact the original plan was proposed for 5 million and shot down two years ago by the town. I hate to get all dorky and parental but why don't we use the money for the schools? Our elementary schools are kind of rundown, the playgrounds are plastic and 5 feet by five feet, stop these budget cuts and salary cuts...they badgered the English department and poked at the rest-it's not fair. Ellis is gone, who next? It's an assignment for civics but we have grown quite passionate about almost as passionate as Nancy Kerensky losing her position in whatever the hell she really does. She hardcore freaked out our class upon visiting. She yelled at us for the future downfall of all politics...sketchy. Very sketchy. Tonight was the college fair...I'll write about it later as well as Saturdays excursion- I hate back tracking.

2002-10-06T17:40:00.000-04:00

HOW WAS IT? THE SINGLE MOST WONDERFUL THING I'VE EVER EXPERIENCED! So sue me, it's a bit of an exaggeration but damn, is it worth the exaggeration. Oh my god. Oh my god. If you look up heaven in the dictionary you get a series of definitions about God and some other various religious propaganda but then there is definition number four which reads: 4 : a place or condition of utmost happiness Oh I have been to Heaven ladies and gentlemen, and heaven is Fab Moretti, Nick Valensi, Julian Casablancas, Nickolai Fraiture, and Albert Hammond. Serenading me with their songs and making me drool over their dynamic personalities and captivating good looks like a pathetic thirteen year old and the Backstreet Boys. I am definitely, most definitely having their babies. Fab drummed away his drum platform serving as a table for the various beers and alcoholic beverages for the group. Nick Valensi did his guitar deal almost completely expressionless which made me curious as to what was passing through his beautiful mind as he played/drank beer. Julian what can I say about Julian? He sang and drank in the same movement and it was glorious. Truly glorious. I breathed his air, and he breathed mine in turn. I think it was very key the way every now and then he would look at the audience, appear pissed off, stride to the beer, fuck the end of the song, take a swig and suddenly appear refreshed only moments later. Oh, Julian. Nickolai? What wasn't to love Nickolai. I don't think theirs anything, he of course, was nothing less than awesome. ALBERT! Albert, your dance moves will leave me forever screaming out in my sleep "Dance for me Albert! Dance! You are my minion, I am the puppet master!" And who can forget? The timeless ability to smoke a cigarette WITH NO HANDS. I guess that's an essential skill when you play an instrument that requires two hands. They played almost everything on their CD, as well as "Meet me in the Bathroom," "New York City Cops," "Sagganuts," and "Ze Newie." Now I'm not just physically attracted as I've made it seem but OBSESSED with their music, as well as the whole aura surrounding their cynical and gorgeous personas. Is this It? NEVER. We WILL meet again.

2002-10-05T18:38:00.000-04:00

STROKES! I am leaving in five minutes to go see THE STROKES. Maybe then I can cordially invite them to the orgy? I'll try. I am going to call Dirty O'Brien from my cell so she can hear them...maybe Kels too, poor girl is working. But you know what I'm doing!!? SEEING THE STROKES. And after it's girl's night, version: all nighter-we are going to hit as many 24 hour spots as possible. But before that STROKES, STROKES STROKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you can't tell I'm crazy-mad-excited. Allright, you all have fun (I'll be having more!) tonight! the truth hurts.

2002-09-30T19:37:00.000-04:00

Setup (MUCH NEEDED): Jane's family account for aol shuts off at 12, so it was agreed she would log onto my account, and that I would use netzero. She went on my family name from when we first got aol about six years back, thesapulas. Obviously being the creative family we were in choosing that name. Anyways, I merely suggested to Jane that she fuck with Anitra's head, just for kicks. Jane of course dived in like it was her job and screwed with Anitra's head in such a twisted, twisted, wrong way. She acted as Mother Sapula and gave Anitra THE SEX TALK. I wanted to slim it down but in the end I couldn't cut anything. So here it is, it's all Jane-give her the fucking props she deserves.

TheSapulas: 51/F HOT PICS!!!!!
RADAnitra: uh
RADAnitra: Mom?
TheSapulas: Oh Anitra! I'm sorry
TheSapulas: I meant to send that to someone else
RADAnitra: haha
TheSapulas: You know it's my anniversary
RADAnitra: yours and dads?
TheSapulas: 29 long years
TheSapulas: 29 long years, 26 or them which went by sexless. You know you should enjoy your sex life now that your in your prime
RADAnitra: Mom!
RADAnitra: don't tell me those things
TheSapulas: It's true
TheSapulas: I just wouldn't want you to miss out
TheSapulas: I had some fun in my prime
RADAnitra: Mom what is this
RADAnitra: you never gave me one of those talks when I was in high school
TheSapulas: Your older now and you have a boyfriend
RADAnitra: is this Tanya?
RADAnitra: please be Tanya
TheSapulas: it's time that we had an open sexual relationship
TheSapulas: What?
RADAnitra: its just weird to hear you say all that
RADAnitra: since you never ever brought it up ever in my past
TheSapulas: I know, but your maturing
RADAnitra: so you had fun in your prime? before you met dad?
TheSapulas: Yes, me and your father had fun sexual experiences before he lost his sex drive
RADAnitra: o I thought you meant outside of marriage
TheSapulas: Oh yes, in High school I had a lot of studs
RADAnitra: that you dated?
TheSapulas: Yes, and that I had sex with
RADAnitra: how many is a lot
TheSapulas: It was the 70's and having sexual relations was the cool thing 2 do
TheSapulas: I can't count
RADAnitra: Mom please be serious
RADAnitra: if this is even Mom
TheSapulas: It's me
TheSapulas: I am not sure I should tell you
RADAnitra: about what
RADAnitra: it's just hard to believe when you told me for all those years that dad was your only
TheSapulas: Well, There was two before him
RADAnitra: well you said there were too many in high school to count
TheSapulas: I'm sorry, I wanted to bring you up the right way
TheSapulas: Please be safe
RADAnitra: Mom I am
TheSapulas: You are not performing sex with Aaron are you?
RADAnitra: what
TheSapulas: Are you having sex with Aaron?
RADAnitra: I cant talk about things like that with you
TheSapulas: Why not?
TheSapulas: Can't we be friends?
RADAnitra: you never brought anything like that up until now
RADAnitra: we are
RADAnitra: you just cant bring it up on;line 5 years after i was supposed to get that sex talk
TheSapulas: DO I have to have a talk with Aaron? hehe
RADAnitra: lol
RADAnitra: no thank you
TheSapulas: I'm serious Anita
TheSapulas: I'm calling up Jane's house to get his number from Tanya
RADAnitra: mom stop
TheSapulas: Ok, I'll wait until tommarow
TheSapulas: Anyways, How are you honey?
RADAnitra: I am fine
RADAnitra: it sounds like you are, too
TheSapulas: Have you ever tasted Alcohol?
TheSapulas: I'm good
RADAnitra: is that what you're tasting now?
TheSapulas: Of course not! why? Are you? I like that we can talk this openly with each other
RADAnitra: is that sarcasm
RADAnitra: I'm just having a hard time believing this is you talking, you NEVER talk this way verbally
TheSapulas: I have been meaning to
TheSapulas: Ok, It's getting late, honey
TheSapulas: I'm going to go to bed
RADAnitra: I will talk to you later
RADAnitra: have a good night
TheSapulas: You too, I love you
RADAnitra: love you too

2002-09-28T18:55:00.000-04:00

Our state representative is stalking me. I thought after like one or two visits they are supposed to assume we are never home and leave us to vote whatever we want. She is living in a tent on my lawn. More or less.

2002-09-28T14:18:00.000-04:00

"Beruit, which my roommates (along with everyone in Virginia) will not refer to as anything but "Beer Pong," whatever that may be. It's BEI-RUT, and it's played with TEN cups, not 6 ya pansies*" Exerted from my sister's blogger, which is linked on the side of my page and is coming close to showing mine up with her writing skills. I can see it now. I cannot even tell you how many times the word Beruit is followed by "what?" in my conversations, EVERYTIME. Then I kind of mutter "Beer Pong" and sigh. "Oh!" they say. It's Beruit! Granted I suck at it, but I actually did improve a deal at the close of summer. Just a word of caution: Next person I hear say Beer Pong gets maliciously beaten.

2002-09-28T01:11:00.000-04:00

I HATE the sound of people making out...

I think I frightened Kelsey, but it was a good frightened. Jane needed gas so we
went to the Mobil and I see a girl in a maroon sweat hunched over her red Honda Civic. Everytime Jane and myself see a red car, let it be a pickup or compact car we yell "Kelsey!" It's a deranged game we play. This time however...it was Kelsey. By some weird stroke of fate as we rolled in, "Bicycle Race" was playing on the CD, so we rolled down all the windows and turned it up for volume. If I had a camera for the look of amazement/confusion/what the fuck is going on expression she wore...

I'm watching South Park, the plot is about a towel who gets high a lot. I am highly amused.

When the pizza came tonight, we ran down the stairs before the pizza boy even got out of his car. I spastically told Jane we didn't want to look THAT trigger happy, so I ran one way, and Jane posed in a freeze frame in the hallway in front of the window by the door. Natural.

Ugh. I am kind of in a shitty mood. It kind of fell suddenly, I was sitting staring at the computer screen when all of a sudden it washed over me, like when your building a sandcastle and the wall keeps repeatedly getting destroyed by those sneaky waves that come out of nowhere. It's dumb too. I think my lack of sleep is just kicking my ass, and making me vulnerable to being hypersensitive. You know me, I snap out of funks quick, I need sleep.

2002-09-27T19:53:00.000-04:00

We (Jane and I) were watching Real World: Las Vegas while eating our Domino's Pizza, and after finishing our pizza I initiated the move upstairs to my room from where we were positioned with our pizza. Jane says: "Can we still watch this?" long pause "I like whores." The episode was revolved around two girls, and a guy making out, go figure. Don't get me started on the media. I told Jane I hoped it didn't look that slooty when I hooked up with Brad and Courtney. She responded with "Wasn't Kelsey in on that too?" Oh yea. Only a lil though...then again mainstream America wasn't tuned into that-I hope.

Anna Nicole Smith Junior is a twat. She didn't do her part of our project. Luckily Grabowski, although Stalin-esqe agreed to grade our group project individually because I DID EVERYTHING.

Did you know the #2 song played at funerals is "Another One Bites The Dust" Queen? I find it delightful AND sadistic. You can be sure of one thing-at my funeral it will be played and EVERYONE better fucking dance. I'm only allowing several true mourners in the corner to gawk and stare at the dancers while occasionally crying. So start polishing your dancing shoes.

The soccer game was canceled, you best bet I'll be there whenever it's rescheduled.

2002-09-27T03:46:00.000-04:00

Let's set this scene up for you: It's 3:22 am right now. I thought my sociology project was going to take way longer than it did in reality so I drank 6.5 cups of coffee in a row. I flipped over in bed and hit my ear on the wall, to give you an idea of how incredibly coordinated I am. I am BLEEDING profusely from my ear, for real. Now there is blood and spilled coffee on my California Raisins shirt. I decided tomorrow I am going to wear the dinosaur shirt I got from Sal's, to honor the fact that Brian Jenkins movements and stature match a dinosaur muppet more and more as time progresses. I get to see Bethany today! I hate soccer, well I played for a year in elementary school but then one day I puked on the field and that may be why I hate soccer. Nonetheless, I hate soccer but I am going to go to the game at my school so I can cheer for Bethany and kind of confuse the girls on our school team as to what I'm doing, as if they don't question that enough. I'm also listening to Queen if that counts towards anything. I think I'm going to create an elaborate points system for myself, there will be no rules but I will give and take points off while at the same time making people wonder about my "points system." I would give myself points for Queen tonight but I've realized lately that while I believe I am smart where it matters I am also an idiot where it matters. So for my newfound and acknowledged idiocy I place myself in the negatives to begin. Who knows maybe within this decade I will reach zero. Who knows, people say, there's hope for everyone.

It's raining. I went on a puddle run (like it sounds, you put on your swanky running shoes and on your run get them as wet and dirty as possible by jumping in puddles) It was a lonely run without Jane but it was her sister's birthday. I needed fresh air after Anna Nicole Smith Junior came over to do our project. So I realized two things about her. 1.) She doesn't know how to make Macaroni and Cheese, really doesn't know how. Hand her the box and she's helpless. 2.) Really, all she talks about is sex. That's all. Did I mention that she sleeps around A LOT, and freakishly resembles me sister? She told me I should have some sex, she knew plenty of guys she said. Implying that a.) I couldn't handle this on my own. and b.) She wanted to prostitute me. NO THANK YOU. Jesus Christ. So as she conversed with herself about sex I did the project. Oh what a day. Mrs. Greco gave me crappy paint brushes and since that's all we have, my painting is coming along slowly thanks to these chewed up brushes, I'm bringing in my own. Also, funding got cut for Slam Poetry team. So there isn't one. I will find a way.

2002-09-25T23:12:00.000-04:00

Backround: Once upon a time, Sam, Kels, Courtney and I decided someday, someday, we would send The Strokes really ritzy and glamorous invites to an orgy. "You are cordially invited to an orgy..."

Onthebus712: you can make out with nickolai then
TonyaBologna: oh all at once
TonyaBologna: who doesn't like orgies?
TonyaBologna: they are like chocolate
TonyaBologna: no one REALLY hates chocolate
Onthebus712: magically delicious
TonyaBologna: people are like 'I don't like chocolate'
TonyaBologna: but then they eat things with chocolate in it
Onthebus712: they're full of crap...chocolate is in everything...it's like water
TonyaBologna: just like orgies are in everything...they undermine society
Onthebus712: indeed. natural law, democracy, orgy- all necessary to society
TonyaBologna: they wont get our fancy invitation to our orgy, "you are cordially invited to our orgy"
TonyaBologna: we need to make a guest list. I mean who gets in?
TonyaBologna: the stokes, bicycle fight club? (Kelsey, Courtney, Sam, and I make up the BFC)
Onthebus712: indeed. no one else can fucking come. exclusive
Onthebus712: ok...well maybe we'll have some quotas to fill...like the beatnik, the random guy in a hawaiian shirt, and the oxford graduate who's working on his masters in eroticism...but that's it
TonyaBologna: could we have gregory peck? I know he's like 86, but he was hot once and we need the random old guy that everyone looks at and thinks "what the fuck..."
TonyaBologna: JOHN STAMOS
Onthebus712: OF COURSE
Onthebus712: Peck and Stamos are in...only if we can call them Atticus and Uncle Jesse during sex
Onthebus712: while we're at it...how about macauly culkin b/c I love him
Onthebus712: it's like delayed pedophilia
Onthebus712: NOW, I KNOW I'VE GOT TO (BAM BAM) RUN AWAY. I'VE GOT TO (BAM BAM) GET AWAY.
Onthebus712: our orgy will be tainted love

2002-09-23T21:49:00.000-04:00

To my nieghboor:
Okay, just because your getting evicted from your home in our demented CandyLand suburbia for growing marijuana in your backyard, it does NOT, I repeat not, give you the right to walk your sixty-something, severely overweight, nasty body to your mailbox in your UNDERWEAR. Trauma.

2002-09-23T21:41:00.000-04:00

"This is for a play," explains Jane to the lady at salvation army...'Are you both in the play?' she asks. "Yes," says Jane, at the same time I say "No." "I am a professional," says Jane as we walk out the door. "Tanya! you should have played along!" "We can be whoever we want to be to strangers!" Jane's Logic...got to love it, or be mildly frightened. Your pick.

2002-09-23T03:03:00.000-04:00

Things that made my weekend fuzzy:

1.) Alizah told me: "I think you are a totally amazing person, I thought I should let you know." It polished my ego.
2.) When Myself and Kelsey were driving down Main Street we saw two old people, walking hunched over, very slowly, holding hands. It was so beautiful and depressing at the same time we didn't really know what to do. So we made some weird cooing noise and talked about it for a bit. That doesn't happen a lot, marriage lasting that long. Look at my parents, the most physical contact they will have is an accidental touch met with recoiling.
3.) I am talking with Andrea again, we went from so close to pretty much non existent She taught me a lot last year, and I think we learned a lot from eachother. I've never been able to have talks with anyone the way I had with her, intense conversation. I would probably be kind of stingy if she didn't get to me. I would also probably own something big and useless from the money I wouldn't have spent on being supplied for our afternoons in the hatchway. Which were pretty consistent for a while. I also got to talk to Sarah this weekend, which was really nice.
4.) I took a role of amazing pictures.
5.) I'll see Anitra in 16 days, which means not only will I get to see her, but I can shave my legs. (if you want the story ask) I will, oh yes I will, have my glory/dignity.
6.) Jane came over at 7:30ish to do college stuff but we just ended up listening to the Beatles and looking at pictures of Wolf-man, the disgruntled man who rides along side the train at Clark's Trading Post to threaten the passengers about his Diamond mine and occasionally flicks you off, and yells a lot. Oh memories.
7.) Lastly, not that I am boasting my idiocy but when Jane came over on Friday and thought it'd be really funny if she acted out a scene repeatedly. So she'd go over to my window and say "I have to go now," swing her keys, throw them on my bed, stand in the middle of my room and say, "Want to ride on my bicycle? It's a two seater," while patting the extra seat on her imaginary bike. Now, I let her do it a few times before I told her "Jane, I'm high not retarded." But also take into consideration I said this after I told her she was the "death in me" (joking of course) curled in a fetal ball on my floor, clutching an electrical cord. The End.

2002-09-23T02:18:00.000-04:00

So I am at Teddy's, with Kelsey who I went to camp with, way back when and we still keep in touch. We wanted to eat somewhere with good food, but since we didn't have a whole lot of time we needed somewhere within decent distance. Teddy's is a pizzeria/Italian place about five minutes down the road from my house with pretty good Italian food. A couple girls from my town work there but I didn't see any on this particular day. I didn't see her but in the kitchen was a girl named Kathy, whom although I had never known, I knew that she had gone on to East Catholic for high school. Somewhere between me eating pizza (which was quite good) and talking, Kathy in the back decided it were grounds that I was a lesbian; As a common friend told me, summing up their conversation on my sexuality. I often search for that correlation between my eating habits and my presentation of sexuality. To Kathy it would not be my eating habits nor how I looked during conversation, it was the vibe. I wonder if I give off any other vibes? I don't think we ever really know what kind of vibes we emit. It also humors me that the topic of my sexuality can hold an entire conversation, if asked I wouldn't hesitate to indulge into my ethics of blatantly refusing to define sexuality a it's not who you love it's how type of deal. It's a part of being open minded, you can be open minded about things, but you can never really be open minded unless you yourself are open. "To cut oneself off from finding that person, to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender, that just seemed stupid to me." to get all Chasing Amy on you. So I could live in this nice comfortable box society has set up for me since day one but then I get so curious about what's outside the box, and once I stepped outside and realized it's stupid to deny myself of experiencing every experience possible. Well, fuck the box. "To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human."

2002-09-22T02:14:00.000-04:00

So I was fooling around in art class, I take an Independent Study in painting. Everyday it's me a canvas, a tub of acrylic paints, some water, shoved in the back of the room far, far away from society...well, the Intermediate drawing class that goes during the period of my study. So my curriculum is very loose, pretty much left up to me given I have approval for what I'm doing. The decided current project was a serious of there impressionist paintings falling under one theme, creating a series. To inspire myself I brought in about four packages of pictures I've taken and spent some time sorting them into categories which didn't take long, all I need was to ask Mrs. Greco what she thought. Mrs.Greco tends to make herself busy therefore never being able to come back when I need some help or opinion. In my boredom, I made a sketch of a picture I have of my cat hissing, hunched, huge tail, petrified. My sketch turned into a realistic portrayal and I titled it "To Lucky: Why can't we be friends?," to Jane's cat Lucky, mending the situation when Jane and I tried to make our cat's meet and fall in love. All of a sudden the always busy Mrs. Greco is over my shoulder. She goes absolutely fanatic over my cat drawing and before I can talk my way out of it, I am painting a series of my cat.

2002-09-22T01:50:00.000-04:00

Upon a recent trip to see Keene in New Hampshire, Kelsey and Myself compiled a list of reasons we feel we need to live in New Hampshire (only brief explanations will be offered):
1.) It's not just a gas station, it's my Grandmother Attic. (Both gas stations we stopped at not only sold gas, but had every object in my Grandmother's Attic with a price tag on it along with offering the sweet smell of dusty mildew inside.) 2.) The state motto is: "Live Free or Die" how unbelievably hard-core is that? Constitution/Nutmeg State?? We are truly the epitome of pussy state slogans. 3.) There's a man on the mountain-all the time-looking down at you-all the time. 4.) Smoking cigarettes is okay, even if your in a motorized wheelchair- (long story good times) 5.) It's okay to be homeless and attend college (large picture at Keen boasting a girl passed out on a bench) 6.) No taxes 7.) Kelsey's Mom told it looks as though we could have a social life there, of course, contrasting the lack of one we possess in the present. 8.) Kelsey: "Are we there yet?" No. "Are we there yet?" No. "Are we there yet?" No.-One hour Later- "Are we there yet?" Yes, notice how everything is pretty. 9.) Winter sports (skiing, snowboarding, sledding, snowballs) 10.) Wendy's does exist 11.) So much more natural beauty than CT. 12.) Everything is more hard-core, the state motto, the climbs, the hikes, the mountains... 13.) The colleges in NH take the "less-extreme mascots" (ex. Keene=friendly owl) 14.) It takes four full playings of 'The Strokes' CD to get there. 15.) No light pollution, therefore better stargazing (which is obsession to us) 16.) Woodland creatures 17.) There is a better chance of seeing old men with mullets driving beat up pickup trucks with gun racks in the back. 18.) "Thank god they have those cute chubby girls!" (again long story, it involves MTV's "sorority life," our tour guide at Keene and some cocoa butter ) 19.) Closer to the Canadians! 20.) Relatively easy to find your way. 21.) The air smells a lot healthier. 22.) People have license plates such as "Love your mother," and "Proud to be Indian." 23.) Good distance from home. 24.) Even if it's rural they still use the word "ghetto" a lot. 25.) Once again Keene's mascot, a friendly owl- owls=pellets=fear.

2002-09-22T00:54:00.000-04:00

The book says, we might be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us. So something funny from the past was brought up. So way back when Kelsey and Blake were going to hook up, I don't really know what the deal was, but Cara had broken up with Blake prior and was still a bit attached to him or something. Anyways Bradley's comparison to Blake's standing was that Blake was like Puerto Rico, he was not attached to the United States (Cara) therefore free territory, yet the United States owned it. Flash forward to now, Cara and Blake back together and in "love." Jane goes, "Yea, and now Blake's Cuba and Cara's Fidel Castro," turns to Cara and just Hitler salutes her. It was so wrong. Yet, so sadistically fitting. Cara kind of does resemble a postmodern dictator at times.

2002-09-21T01:28:00.000-04:00

There's a show on Comedy Central right now, that guy that does gross things that a small percentage of the perturbed American population gets kicks off of. Well, enough kicks to somehow keep it on the air. I'm such a fucking contradiction because in my disdain, guess what is still on despite my anger at the program? the program itself. Why the anger might you ask? Out of all the potentially screwed-up things there are to do in the world, he was shooting cutouts of Freddie Mercury. Why god, why? My sister asked what was with the Queen obsession and upon sputtering a wide range of answers she cut in and said "I think I like it." It keeps me trucking with my sister's enjoyment of my world.

PS My senior picture retakes look decent. Granted I'm critical, but I don't look like a Neanderthal...it's a little disappointing, the amusement attached to that incident is treasured in a small chamber of my soul (although, if you want to be technical I don't have a soul, since it was never returned to me although I did fulfill my half of the deal) but I suppose in the loner run of things I should submit a picture that doesnt so closely mirror a prehistoric being...I think I might send one of the four I am laughing in. Ha.

2002-09-21T01:12:00.000-04:00

I hate complaining so I'm sorry for this entry in advance: I got blown off tonight. It was one of those good ones that they show on television, where it almost brings a tear to your eye, before you realize that is because there is actually something IN your eye. I took a nap since had planned to watch movies, so I wouldn't nod off or anything. I woke around 8:30 pm, refreshed and changed into some comfortable/decent clothing. Knowing I wasn't in the mood to do anything that required much effort and/or movement, they had asked if after they finished work I wanted to lay low with some movies snagged from work. I opened Microsoft Word and decided to take advantage of my half hour block before to tweak my memoir for Rhetoric class, which is due Monday. And I was still tweaking it at 9:45, not considering the time, when I worked at JoAnne Fabrics ending your shift always often ran significantly overtime. Tweaking, became a nervous habit as I chiseled oddly at my memoir as the time passed not really completely giving up hope until about 10:45. Along with waiting all night, I got worried, worried something had happened. Until I get the blow that while I sat around all night alone, even a little worried they had been at ( ________________________<-that's a blank for you to fill in, I think you know how it ends) Correct answer: With someone else. Doing other things. Typical. Sometimes my life has these little cliche filler moments, that makes me fill I'm in some modern teenage sitcom and it disgusts me. Ya. So I am a loser, end of story. But I'm not really a loser, I think I am pretty cool, I enjoy hanging out with myself so it works, it works.

2002-09-21T00:51:00.000-04:00

Today in English we were discussing "Owen Meany" someone used the word Wanker. Now, having someone use the word wanker, caused me to feel uneasy for a number of reasons. 1.) It did not come out of Courtney's mouth in her Scottish accent (which I have a love/hate relationship with) That of course being the main reason. 2.)The word smarmy was not inserted in FRONT of wanker. There is not one without the other, they thrive off of eachother. Smarmy Wanker. That is how it has to be. 3.) It was not said directed as you are a: smarmy wanker. They called a fictional character a wanker, which they were, but hey now it's not the same! Not that I'm one to obsess with sameness and get caught in that small-town bread spiral of resisting change. But I think overall there is a define difference between resisting change and being upset someone used the word 'wanker' at least, I'd like to hope so. 4.) Smarmy=Dirty, Wanker=Mastrabater. Smarmy Wanker=Dirty Masturbator. Foreign Slang. Although Barb Wiggins devilish and sexual maneuvers toward Owen Meany were quite disturbing, smarmy wanker is a term NOT earned by the Reverend's slooty wife. I just spent twenty-minutes of my life, grieving over the unfortunate and wronged use of the term "smarmy wanker." Not like I have anything better to muck about in.

2002-09-21T00:26:00.000-04:00

"Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose a future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that. I chose not to choose life, I choose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons, who needs reasons when you've got heroin?"-Trainspotting

2002-09-20T00:17:00.000-04:00

(Mother sitting on bed, having a conversation with Jane and I, always an experience)
-Particular conversation started as a result of I, making fun of Jane for having to mack it to Daniel Spagnesi in a play-
Jane: (suddenly) Tanya has a boyfriend! His name is Steven!.....Oh wait that's Joanna
Tanya: Jane has a boyfriend!......
Jane: Tanya has a boyfriend! His name is AJ. AJ Shortman! And they do drugs together!!
Tanya: Jane has a boyfriend! He's a Vietnam Vet! He has no arms and legs and sells cocaine on street corner in New York!
Jane: Tanya has a boyfriend! And they do cocaine!
Tanya: Jane has a girlfriend!
Jane: Tanya has a girlfriend and a boyfriend!
Mom: I have to go
Jane: Stay!
Tanya: Bye Mom!
Jane: Stay!
Tanya: Bye Mom!
Jane: Stay!
Tanya: Bye Mom!
Jane: Stay!
(Mother shuts door upon exit)

2002-09-20T00:11:00.000-04:00

"I was not aware of the string of fucked-up thoughts that run through your head daily."-Anitra, upon reading my webpage

2002-09-16T23:00:00.000-04:00

"Your soul is too beautiful for words."-written by Giulia, on my leg, smashed. Nonetheless, still an inspirational phrase.

2002-09-16T22:50:00.000-04:00

GIJane2150: So how's college coming?
TonyaBologna: I think I am getting somewhere and/or singing Queen really loud
GIJane2150: I would love to be allowed to say" I found my ideal school while karaoke singing to Queen."
TonyaBologna: I will be damnit I WILL. Determination will light the way! From now on...no college searching without the music stylings of Queen allowed. I don't care
GIJane2150: : ) Good set of rules. I'd actually like to think that Queen gives a person a sense of empowerment and luck, that enables us to achieve our goals
TonyaBologna: Nothing makes me want to push forward more than Bicycle Race..."it's coming your way"
GIJane2150: "fat bottom girls"
TonyaBologna: They are coming our way Jane...so forgot all your duties
GIJane2150: OH YEAH
TonyaBologna: The process itself can be found in the song "Under Pressure," with David Bowie
TonyaBologna: magic. pure magic. So it's settled. We+Queen=College. The end.

2002-09-16T15:29:00.000-04:00

You know, for our artistic interpretation of our 'world' for English, a lot of people put eyes on theirs. Then, following with a statement of how eyes are the first thing they look at in a person because they "tell so much." I don't really know how I feel about that, nor do I have the energy to explore it. I like eyes, I like them a lot, a lot. But I don't think eyes speak all the time, every so often, but not all the time. And it depends whose eyes these are. But, what I was wondering of these common peers of mine really, the first time they ever met me in their entire life span of seventeen years, that the train of thought of looking into my eyes and analyzing my soul was the first thing on their mind. Later down the line, maybe, but first off? the eyes? I don't know. I just don't know.

2002-09-16T15:17:00.000-04:00

You know what? When the Ancient Greeks first started toying with written language, they said fuck it all. I'm sure since it was the beginning to the age of enlightenment they said it much more poised, but the principle remains. They had this idea that if anything should be communicated it should be done so to the face. Boy, would they shit their pants now. When the central ways of communication have evolved into a whole mess of digital, and technological being...I think we would greatly disappoint a time traveling Greek, the poor bugger wouldn't know what to do.

2002-09-16T02:52:00.000-04:00

People have different fetishes. We've got everything from our whipped creamers, all the way to NAMBLA (National Man-Boy Love Association) which I use as an example, not showing that I condone it in any way. That's just sketchy. Alas, there are many fetishes out there. Mine, is the rain. I cannot get enough of it lately. My Blogger clock may lie to you and tell you it's hours ahead or behind the actual time, which is 2:47 a.m. I cannot sleep, the rain is just falling in sheets and is completely hypnotizing, otherwise I'd be asleep, I need some of that.

2002-09-13T01:57:00.000-04:00

When using this product: limit the use of caffeine containing medications, foods, or beverages because too much caffeine may cause nervousness, irritability, sleeplessness, and occasionally, rapid heartbeat. Rapid? My heart's like an Irish step dancer on speed...if I'm EVER going down, please let it be a hard-core caffeine addiction like Jessi Spano on 'Saved By The Bell' when she took caffeine pills to pass Geometry while balancing a singing career...I think I'm going to call someone and mutter out the "I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so...so scared," via Jessi. Just to freak people out. Well, I think it generally freaks people out period if they were not privileged enough to watch 'Saved By The Bell' in their lifetime and don't understand what the hell I'm saying. Or, in fact, if they happened to miss that particular episode...

2002-09-12T01:14:00.000-04:00

Quotes O' The Day

-As we are driving up my street my neighbor passes walking his dog his new girlfriend at his side..."Aw, look there's Mr. Thomes and his girlfriend" (I said this with a compassionate tone, he's middle aged, had a tough time while going through his divorce, I thought the two walking the dog was cute.) Jane's Response: "She looked at me funny...Is she autistic?"

-The room is silent, we are in Rhetoric working silently with memoirs. Christina looks up and in her loudest voice "Why is Chemistry like Chinese?" I thought the comparison of the two was fitting. Oh, and it was funny when she said it because it completely broke this silence. I guess it was one of those "You had to be there deals."

-Mrs. Field teaches Oceanography, Marine Biology, and Freshwater. I'd like to describe her as delightfully loopy. "...I don't remember much about the 80's, I was drunk through the entire era."-something along those lines.

-For the record, Jane never ever talked to me about 'boys' until we turned sixteen. "I think I really, really like him...every time I talk to him I end up dancing with your Mom."--which is true, she danced with my Mom to Enya in the kitchen today after she got all giddied up, a sort of fast paced slow dance if you will.

2002-09-11T20:30:00.000-04:00

Damn I really hate "back tracking," but it's my own fault for being shitty at updating for the last couple of days. Last Friday (6th) was low-key. Myself, Jane and Giulia got together to watch some movies since none of us really had much energy/desire to do anything that required any deal of movement. Giulia was the lucky first to view our cut, edited and printed version of "Burying Our Babies..." I am very aware how much the entry about our hamster burial disturbed people, and yes I am enjoying that immensely but let me assure you it was all in good fun and needed to get done. Maybe the elaborate ceremony wasn't but...yes, yes it most definitely was. Anyways, before watching some movies Giulia had snagged from work we decided a snack raid was necessary. Of course our journey didn't end there...we partied in my kitchen for over an hour. Okay so it wasn't a 'party' but there was dancing. You know those cliche movies where several woman dance around a table singing, dancing and celebrating their independence and womanhood? Well, that wasn't us...but we were dancing like idiots to Queen and other fine selections around my kitchen. And maybe we were celebrating our womanhood and unaware of it? Who knows? After much Queen and Macaroni and Cheese (what a weird yet completely satisfying combination) we headed upstairs to watch "A Clockwork Orange" which we all really wanted to see. For our generations short attention span it was too much to take in at that particular moment. Stanley Kubrick has not disappointed us in the past (let's just omit 'Eyes Wide Shut') so we plan on trying again when we can focus. So we pretty much channel flipped and got sleepy until our tiredness kicked in full on. Saturday of course, was camping day which ended up being a lot of fun. We hiked in pitch blackness for about a half hour (Kelsey and everyone else got lost though), set up camp, and relaxed while we waited for Blake and his friends to show up (they had been at the pike) I found three more reasons to love Jane that night. 1.) Running up to me with a raw, vegetarian chicken patty on a stick and proclaiming "Tanya! I accidentally made this chicken patty!" 2.) When her method of making sure I was 'alive' was asking me in a thick half german/naziesque voice "Do you like tricks bitch?" which I would answer with the most enthusiastic grunt I could muster at the given time. She was referring of course to the episode of Upright Citizens Brigade revolving around the drug "Supercool" where they do a great satirical skit on "MTV's: Scared Straight." 3.) Her nonchalantness 4.) Having the idea that screaming "Free Chocolate!" while hanging from a tree branch was a good way to lead our lost friends in our general direction. 5.) Deciding we were indeed, skilled enough to go bouldering that mourning/afternoon, where we might I had a great time. Okay so I said three and wrote five, I lied. In fact, I lie everyday of my life. What else? We sat around a fire like the suburban white kids we are with a guitar singing and swaying to Sublime. And of course leaving out a large chunk, it is here I retire. Rightttttttt NOW.

2002-09-11T16:30:00.000-04:00

Our classes valedictorian has a heat problem. If he overheats he's screwed. Therefore, he is forced to wear shorts and short sleeves year round. If he's so smart why doesn't he cure himself? Okay that's bitchy, but you might be hostile to...one-hundred and seventy-three spaces down the class rank that is.

2002-09-11T16:21:00.000-04:00

In the spirit of selling souls: I exchanged my soul today to my guidance counselor for the otherwise unallowed, bringing home of the book "The Complete College Admission's Database: New England." Now, finishing the process of looking through this would have taken days, unfortunately bringing home one of those resource books is a big guidance office no-no. But Mr. Mys is easy to sway and with the stealthy exchanged of my soul for this privilege, it was done. It was set today we would exchange, granted both we returned in their former shape. One problem, my soul was signed away on a post-it, he lost it, of course. Leaving me not only a rebel to the guidance system, but soulless. Moral of the story: Probably shouldn't sign away your soul on a post-it for college references.

2002-09-06T02:50:00.000-04:00

I'm a generally happy person, I think we can all agree on that. But it is seldom when I can really reflect on a day and have had a 'most excellent' day. Not just your normal, pleasant everyday but one level up from the given happiness norm. Following me so far? Even if your not, just nod your head, it works for me. So I give credit to three separate elements that factored into the 'most excellent' day deal. #1 I wore my overalls, ANY day can become magic simply by putting on my overalls. They just have that effect. #2 For once I had a good time at school. Yes, good time and school are appearing in the same sentence...No never again. Cafe Study and school pictures allowed me to sleep and arrive to school at 9 am as opposed to 7:30. We had to get pictures taken for our I.D.'s though, and wait in line forever and then some. The same forever and then some that allowed me to miss all but five minutes of my rhetoric class. I talked to Shannon, Kim, and Claire while I was waiting in line. Shannon is in a few classes with me, so we talk although she reminds me way to much of a walking Anna-Nicole Smith show, she's an interesting girl to converse with. As for Claire and Kim, my favorite line was when they were talking about the two beers Claire had this summer...it was so scandalous. Gossip! That's why convo with Anna-Nicole Junior is so much more fun. She indulges in drugs and alcohol, sleeps around, and cannot form complete sentences. Anyways, since the photo is for the I.D. I'll never use, and the same place that did our senior pictures was taking them, I made point to look Neanderthal, I wonder if I did as well as the professionals. #3 So, my friend Kelsey...has had dead hamster's preserved in her freezer for five years now. That's right, five years. When they died it was the winter and due to the frozen ground, they decided to stick them in the freezer to keep them ripe until due time came. Due time came, and passed, came and passed, came...and passed. We decided the time had finally arrived to remove them from the freezer, and bury them. What begin as simply digging a hole, putting them in and filling it turned into a dramatic video starring, Kelsey as Kelsey (Woman #1), Myself as Cleatus the gravedigger/The priest, and Jane (dressed in a complete fur suit) Mama Hamster. We had a wake, readings, a eulogy, closing ceremonies...and made a video. Really hilarious. I have decided in due respects, to post now, my delivered eulogy:

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bid an ultimate and devastating yet very essential farewell to three virtuous souls. Who held out their everlasting spirit through thick and thin, the good and bad, and of course the traumatic perils of being enclosed in a small box, in a freezer for five long years. Yes, it is time. The immense joy these three lives brought to our own in death will undoubtedly live on for the rest of our natural lives. The divine ways they have touched our lives shall remain buried in our very essence as long as we shall live. We only let them go as a godly honor to their precious lives and/or deaths and as a respect we owe them. Oh, we owe them the world, the world and whatever lies beyond those faded skies…without a doubt that they shall soon be received into but never forgotten. Every constellation shall now resemble a majestic rodent shining down upon us, direction from above. Either that or we will just have to contort the stars images into rodents and imagine. But what we see is of no relevance of how we will feel glancing above and knowing, knowing that god may not exists, but hell those hamsters did, and we know that and feel it vibrate in every bone of our body every waking and idle hour. So as we look to the skies, we remember. I’d like to take a moment of silence to remember- (moment of silence)

What did you think about? Did you remember a time when one of these heroes touched your heart? Was it the time we wrapped them up and presented them to Sam as a gift? Boy, was she delighted. Was it the time they were brought out to watch a movie with the gang? The first time you ever found out the Wardwells had frozen hamsters in their fridge? The endless unexpected spooks? Every spring coming and going, the ground thawed but unable to bring yourself to part with their physical selves? Let us take this time to look back, share and remember. As we reflect our favorite memories.

……And so comes this time. Once upon a time, three hamsters passed away. That was five years ago. A severe attachment disorder plagued Kelsey as she never saw the ground ripe enough to take them. But now that time has come. She is strong, and although nor her, or anyone is ready, she is-and we are willing. To pay the final respect-closure. For the turmoil of restless afterlife they have endured on the top shelve of her freezer, we commend, we celebrate. I’d like to reaffirm a cliché in my closing that has evolved under my very own watch. Sometime in ones career (example: Picasso) they achieve more celebrity in death, then they do in life. Indeed, they did, indeed did they do just that. We only hope they are aware of the impact they have provided into our lives, and we know they are, watching from above. That or the freezer-either way. Rest in peace my cherubs, rest in peace, we will miss your corpses; the freezer will never be the same without your lifeless, ice-covered bodies. Until then we will celebrate your soul every breathing moment. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. A-fucking men.

And yes, this was THE best part of my day by far. Weird? A little. Unconventional? Definatly. Scares you a bit? Don't be. Amusing, Entertaining, Fun ALL of the above.

2002-09-05T14:42:00.000-04:00

"I made a trash can that says "For the Orphans" on it with a picture of little orphan Annie,... everyone thought I was fucked up."-Courtney

2002-09-05T14:40:00.000-04:00

The smartest question ever asked by my fellow Rhetoric peers:

J.T.-Is there another word for thesaurus?
Teacher-That's really a magnificent question....(trails off)
J.T.-(confused, pauses) Well, so is there?
Teacher- I think thesaurus is a synonymless word.
J.T.- A cinnamenymless word? (clearly stumped by the given word)
Teacher- No, synonymless.
Me: Is that even a word?
Teacher- I don't think so.

2002-09-05T01:58:00.000-04:00

So I try and use my space effectively, although if you want to get technical on me you could go and say that Blogger is a free host site and in the vast world of computer space I have as much space as I want, but that's besides the point. SO, I try and use my space effectively meaning I do what I please, yet I don't like using it as a personal forum to complain, gripe, etc, but hey shit happens. And this is a petty, petty, complaining story I decided I wanted to share with the cyberspace world (you.) I don't usually get the mail, I usually save it for my Mom to grab on her way home, because I think she likes that job, honestly. Today I happened to physically watch the mail truck go by and since I was in the kitchen and relatively close to the front door I decided "Hey, I am going to go get the mail." And I did. And I kind of sorted it and placed it on my kitchen table so everyone (parents) could easily find their mail. Tanya Sapula hmm, I don't see my name on mail often, in fact barely ever. After a brief investigation of the envelope I realized these were my proofs of my senior photos to choose from. I found the little paper inside that told me to circle option A-G, so I took out a blue Bic pen, prepared to make a hasty decision on which picture went into the yearbook, ya know I didn't care about my picture just throw one in there. Or so I thought. I say this not as me being overly critical, but as a person. Never ever in my life have I seen some poor photography taken by such a damn expensive/"refined" photo studio in my life. These were the most un professional shots ever, and don't even make me go into the details of my photo shoot. Not only did she hastily take them in under a minute, but she took pictures of me laughing. That's right, laughing. Which is exactly what my best friend did upon seeing the proofs, I pretended it didn't hurt my feelings but in the principle of it, she was laughing at me. I greeted them with sympathy, and of course, a little laughter. Every picture featured me off center and at a slight, okay more than slight angle. I appeared hunched over, leaning in a way, my tense smile concealed my top lip's existence. My smile seemed squareish, and I KNOW my head is NOT that big. Not to mention the laughing sequence, three pictures of an oddish, squeamish grin with my body at a weird position. Note: I am not being critical, these are how much pictures turned out. So maybe a good deal is me being tragically unphotogenic, but why the hell would they send me pictures of myself looking like a large headed, cheeky, Neanderthal? All in all, I didn't mind to much, I was strangely amused in a way...but my Mom decided that since she had to pay so damn much, she wanted a picture of her daughter NOT looking like prehistoric being. Understandable. Retakes Sat. Can't wait, oh wait...yes, yes I can.

2002-09-02T17:59:00.000-04:00

Samatha O'Brien: "...Last night, my roommates, myself, and the guys from across the hall went to dinner and as we were leaving, I spotted a wheelchair among some trash and demanded that somebody wheel me home. It was fantastic. Basically, everyone got out of my way (especially when I yelled "wheelchair coming through"). I can't decide whether my favorite moment was when I got caught on a pothole and proceeded to pick up the chair and walk past it as EMT's watched me or when I was sitting in front of Blockbuster and Denzel Washington walked by, doing a double take at the freaky girl in the wheelchair who clearly had no ailments. I didn't even realize it was him until the guy next to me followed him and confirmed it..." Sam, I think I speak for the majority of us when I say I am so glad you are enjoying yourself at NYU.

2002-09-02T02:39:00.000-04:00

I wasn't planning on cleaning my room, figured I could just finish it up when I woke up (completely tired) but then I heard the rain outside and decided that, for some reason, the sole and solitary thing I wanted to do more than anything in the world at that exact moment was lay in bed, in an empty a room as I could manage, and fall asleep like that. Well, anything that motivates. In other news, the Anna Nicole Smith show kind of makes me ashamed to be human...

2002-08-31T20:54:00.000-04:00

Myself and Jane (Jane and I sounds to formal for my liking) had stopped to pick up some cucumbers for my Mom, that's all, cucumbers (sketchy?) for dinner. So when we returned, Jane and I sat down to a respectable, microwavable meal. Upon my decision that we needed to drink our Pepsi from some genuine crystal goblets, I decided, in the dining room, we needed/deserved a nice romantic dinner. I mean hey, we are two fantastic girls, we deserve to take all the love we have pent up inside of us and dress ourselves in it like it's our job. So out came the fancy placements, cloth napkins, and the candles, all we needed was the cuisine. The chicken patties (vegetarian and made of soy of course) reeked with a spicy aroma making Jane salivate like Pavlov's dogs. Grandmother's soup didn't even taste like it'd been tossed in the fridge two weeks prior, and the combination of broth and carrots looked quite watery, but indeed was most satisfying. Overall, I think it was the french fries that gave the table it's overall feel of ritziness, or maybe it was the whole soda and wine goblet deal...maybe we will never know. Now you have this image in your head, I've set the scene for the story to come, so you can superimpose one image onto another and understand exactly what happens when we wine and dine together. Earlier in the day we had compiled a soundtrack CD for a video we were shooting. In case your wondering, it was a reality based sitcom that revolved around trying to play matchmaker to our feline friends. It consisted of Lucky (Jane's cat) a divorced, black, female running around my house and hissing occasionally. Slater, the single, caucasian, male was MIA, but I think he would have been A LOT more cooperative toward the situation. In making the soundtrack we knew we'd need to represent both musically and therefore compiled a hard-core rap/light acoustics mix. Anyways, this was Jane's choice of music to put into the kitchen stereo for dinner, as in the kitchen my mother was adamantly making dinner in. All was well until the opening beat of "get fucked up" came on, and despite my despite rush to change the song, it began. It was greeted with a quizzical look from my father followed by "I heard that!" before he retreated downstairs without another word. Strike one. The next song came on, a song by Sublime called "Date Rape" which talked a lot about 'taking it from behind.' Luckily it's reggae roots confused my parents, and my Mom just said "I love Bob Marley!" and proceeded to bob around the kitchen for a while. Clean slate. "Fuck her gently," was avoided due to my then acquired dash to the kitchen in time to hit the forward button (why I never thought to change the CD is beyond me.) I had no way to save what happened next though. "Move bitch! get out the way, get the way bitch, get out the way..." Time was frozen. The soup drizzled down Jane's chin seeming to find a steady path as that steady stream was all that kept her mouth from spraying a vicious laughter to the reflection of my glaring mother in the glass in front of us. "What is this?!" "Are they saying witch?" (my mom's being witty) "Is it about Halloween?" Yes, Mom. "Move witch, get out the way, get out the way witch, I want my Halloween candy..." We tried, saving ourselves was a lost cause at this point. Strike one reactivated. "HO yous a ho..." just when we had joked our way out of the Move bitch deal, this had to be the song that came on... So then my Mom started making up a song on her own "Hoe, use the hoe..." (gardening hoe) as she danced around with her "hoe." It was quite hilarious, but then later when she went into the shed in our backyard to find if we had a hoe...jokes over Mom, jokes over. She couldn't find it so I asked my Dad if we owned a hoe and he said "I know what your talking about! No, we don't own any HO'S." I'm mortified...."No Dad, really, in the shed, do we have a hoe? for real." "That's not where we keep them *wink*" "DAD!!!!! We just want to know if we own a real hoe!!" "What do you need a HO for?" "GARDENING!" That was the end of that.

2002-08-26T23:01:00.000-04:00

School tommarow. I'm not happy, I'm not sad. I'm not prepared, there's nothing to be prepared for, I'm don't want to go, but I'm ready. I am and I am not is my attitude pretty much. I am so so sick of hearing everybody talk about how this is the last day. It's a day of last's yes, but it's not the last day. There's tommarow, and the day after that, and an entire natural lifetime. Although I know what they mean, trust me to just tear at it for no apparent reason. Why do people always say that? it's the last day...have you ever in your life heard anyone say...it's the first day. Maybe it's easy to hold the past because you know it so well, but new things-you don't know them at all. And although they'd eventually be the past (never considered by one) you barely know them until they are gone so I guess people don't think to, to much about the present or the future for that mattter. I don't live anywhere, just kind of the now, and sometimes the now pulls in ethier side...but mostly just kind of wavers as is. I just figure, why live in the past-it's gone, why live in the future-it's not there, why not just live? Well, I lost my train. Tommarow will be another day, for today was not my last!! Allright, I'm done. I'm obviously sleep deprived.

2002-08-25T22:36:00.000-04:00

I just made a really amazing CD, old dashboard songs. You know before they were 'plugged' and before the 'swiss army romance,' beautiful songs. Don't get me wrong, I can enjoy them now, I'll even go as far to say the drums add a good beat. I even had a really good time seeing them with weezer this summer (curse the strokes for not playing that show) but then again I was quite smashed. But nonetheless, this compilation deserves a pat on the back so I'm going to give myself one. There. I haven't been up to much, pretty much enjoying myself. Literally. Hanging out one-on-one with yourself can be a good thing. I got a lot done, finished a few good pieces of literature, and watched WAY to much tv. So I unplugged it. Solved. I finished 'The Heart of Emerson's Journals' which I like because it gives a good range of his thought process and general maturity over the course of about fifty years. So, you get to watch his mind kind of balloon. Well, I liked it. This entry was pretty boring so I don't mind if 'this generations course of ADD finally settled in and you left to look at something shiny.'

2002-08-25T03:36:00.000-04:00

The Art Of Conversation...or being able to turn the most un-intelligent conversation, into a form that makes it feel semi-intelligent, keyword feel. So plauged by a 3 am sense of idleness, myself and commrade Kelsey spirited quite an alarming tool we as a collective whole as a witty comparison which might in fact be shot down. Read it and weep.

TonyaBologna: woohoo my room is clean.......clean as a babies bottom
Quill850: yay, I gotta do that before I go to sleep too
TonyaBologna: assuming, of course this baby we speak of has non-neglectory parents and the behind is clean
Quill850: i never understood that phrase
Quill850: now it makes sense
TonyaBologna: no it doesn't
TonyaBologna: who decided its bottom was clean? for all we know it has abusive parents who dont change it
Quill850: that's what I was saying, you see it doesn't make sense unless its cleared up like that
Quill850: some children are gross and dirty...others are clean...how do I know which child's bottom is being used as a metaphor as your clean room?
TonyaBologna: is there a general child? can I met them?
TonyaBologna: I mean who designated this child? is there a council?
TonyaBologna: and how is it always going to be a baby, people grow up!
TonyaBologna: if someone has the secret to eternal youth I wanna know!!!!!
Quill850: peter pan does
TonyaBologna: ya, this conversation had to end sooner or later. thanks
TonyaBologna: otherwise I might have started to believe myself...wrote a book
TonyaBologna: THE baby "How clean and/or smooth is their bottom and why are we obsessed??"
Quill850: haha, well it was interesting
TonyaBologna: you can have in on it if you want $$$
TonyaBologna: ya know, credit by association
Quill850: awesome, hell I'd read that book
Quill850: ill do illustrations
Quill850: ( @I@) <--- dirty ( I ) <--- clean
TonyaBologna: draw timmy-timmy, the real baby, dirty and neglected by society
TonyaBologna: because we never took the damn time to clean it, only to use his ass as small talk to make witty comments/comparsisions
TonyaBologna: someone should clean his ass...
TonyaBologna: not it.
Quill850: not it
TonyaBologna: are we neglecting the baby?...maybe not since were acknowledging there is a problem
Quill850: that baby is the source of our cleaning worries
Quill850: how clean is baby's ass clean? and how do we know? we could becleaning for days and still not achieved the required cleanliness or lack of
TonyaBologna: EXACTLY.
TonyaBologna: I wanna meet all things of our generalized witty comments
TonyaBologna: the baby, the balds mans head...the fiddle we are fit as
Quill850: lets look into this...make all the people who think in to things ways too much, like ourselves really pissed off
TonyaBologna: fit as a fiddle...."fit as the realistic army of athletic misfits who diligently visit their swanky gyms, drink dasani water and purge up dinner"
TonyaBologna: smooth as a babies bottom: smooth as a babies bottom that our nations dirty hands caress and graze yet avoid molestation charges due to the fact we need to molest babies in order to have witty remarks.
Quill850: since when are fiddles fit? what makes them fit? they are made of wood, are all things made of wood fit? and why not fit as a guitar or banjo?
Quill850: like two peas in a pod: what about the third pea?
Quill850: what discludes it?
TonyaBologna: what's wrong with it?
TonyaBologna: theres NEVER just two peas it a pod, it's like scientifically proven
Quill850: fit together like peas and carrots: they don't go together well at all, in fact, no one likes peas, they taste like mushy chalk, why are they stuck with carrots and who said that the go well together
TonyaBologna: I hate cooked carrots
TonyaBologna: it cant be a chosen statement if we don't ALL agree
Quill850: we should have polls, like the census to agree on these phrases
TonyaBologna: indeed we should
Quill850: we really do look into things way too much for our own good...or maybe everyone else just doesn't look into things enough...
Quill850: I'd like to agree with the second one
TonyaBologna: me too. the end.

2002-08-20T01:49:00.000-04:00

“Dwell in possibility.”-Emily Dickinson. I think I live in it. Well, today was my first, true do nothing day and I really realized that it's not so fantastic. I mean to a degree it's refreshing but it got old within the first couple hours of idleness. I was awakened by the preteen mutant across the street playing Michelle Branch so I played the Strokes on volume twenty-five which just about blew my eardrums but satisfied me just the same. In case your wondering-If Michelle Branch and The Strokes were fighting a war, the Strokes would SLAUGHTER her. She shut off her music after awhile since I opened every window possible to drown her music out, but started up later with some good old BSB or something so I had to whip out some more fun...well it was fun for me at least. I hope I wasn't anything like this girl as a child...I watched 'Playing By Heart,' which I had forgotton exactly how much I loved. Well, I've worked myself into a 2 a.m. funk, so I'm going to go paint something until I get tired. I'm very sleep-deprived by choice and I don't think that's a healthy choice so maybe I'm going to get some shut eye.

2002-08-19T02:55:00.000-04:00

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”-Mark Twain

2002-08-19T02:07:00.000-04:00

"Do one thing everyday that scares you." I forgot who said that but I think I am going to make a habit of it. I think it was FDR's wife, and she brings up a good point.

2002-08-19T01:54:00.000-04:00

Amen for John Bent and my Jesus candle. Nothing brings a smile to my face like looking on my bedstand and seeing the blood, sweat, and tears, of our lord, savior, Jesus Christ. I wonder if he had anything to do with only winning third in the clean coop award. Or maybe it was the fact that on Mel's card a nine year old wrote "When I think of you at bed (I think he meant at night, in bed or something) I can't sleep." It's a bit creepy. I bet the two combined wigged her out. I called Kerri, she got really, really pissed off about my eval. That's my girl.

2002-08-19T01:50:00.000-04:00

Wow. Nothing makes your weekend like coming home for the first time in two and a half days. If you didn't pick up the hint of sarcasm in that, here it is: I was being sarcastic. I was happy I got to see everyone, it was good closure. Then I walked around with Jeff and a lot of people had left and I felt bad I didn't get to say goodbye. But it was fun to have one last sha-bang, one more chapter to one of the best summer's I've ever had. I don't feel closure, but I don't think I have to have that-nothing's over. The different relasionships I've been lucky enough to have established aren't done, nothing is really done except were a little spread out and don't have hot-chocolate and stale bagels routinely. Nonetheless, it was a good thing to be able to just be around everyone in one place, at that time. I stayed at the LoMo household, and hung around for the entire day not really doing much of anything but having a fantastic time doing that. I did however find one of Sarah's old books called "Children Praise The Lord" and read some really creepy stories and songs to Sarah as she set up a printer to her brother's computer, overall, I think it was that that made the printer dysfunctional and unable to correspond with the computer. I stayed over Saturday too, I really enjoyed my time there moreso than my time at home. Then came Sunday, where I faced the fact I must return home. And I had to leave, and say goodbye to Sarah, which isn't a goodbye goodbye but I was sad anyways. It's not everyday you meet someone who you can just connect to and be-friend so quickly but feel like you've know for a long time. But I'll visit with Bethany and we can have fun and maybe even start a random dance party somewhere. Damn. I'm so not ready to be done with being a slack-off. Well, I am going to take summer stash it into a nice little niche in my brain and just always have it stuffed up there for when it's needed. The end. P.S. To anyone that's going somewhere else soon: “May you have warmth in your igloo, oil in your lamp, and peace in your heart!”– Eskimo proverb.

2002-08-13T23:54:00.000-04:00

I found this on my sisters favorite places, it's her boyfriend Aaron's profile for Uconn Crew. I think it's amusing, basically just the part where he uses the term, "Kick major sac."

2002-08-13T23:50:00.000-04:00

A plane just flew over my house. Not that I normally notice them but sometimes the ones fly over your house and proceed to make so damn noise you duck and cover and think how swell it will be to die by commercial plane flying through your bedroom, until you realize it's just 'passing by.' After I've numbed to that intial fear I wonder where they're going (the plane), who they are, and what they are thinking. And I wonder if they are looking down out the window, at the ground and remembering that there are living, breathing people down there and wondering what they are thinking.

2002-08-13T23:11:00.000-04:00

Today I pulled a snake scare during free swim. Kirsten had a snake tied to the end of a long, long string and she said she was going to use it to get a good scare out of the campers. Now, I am all about the frightening of middle division campers, making them cry being the added bonus. The scare consisted of Kirsten jumping in alone into the empty pool and in a high, faux (I hope that's a word) voice crying, "Snake! Snake!vSnake!" The kids snickered, but I think it was only out of mild confusion. So, it wasn't scary, big deal-but hey the lap pool has no idea of the rubber snake so theres a glimmer of hope. I grabbed the snake, concealing it under my towel and started for the lap pool, and quickly jumped in. As I swam, the snake gently slithered in the water a safe distance behind me. Sarah LoMo being the super lifeguard she is, played along loudly questioning the snake and letting it's presence be known. Soon, little girls were squeeling on occassion and Corey, my sisters JC cried out that he felt it slither against him. Many people not realizing that it was rubber, asked Sarah "Aren't you going to get the kid's out?" looking at her like she must be the most irresponcible lifeguard ever. 'Tweet, Tweet!', 'Everybody out!' As the children lined the pool, some shrieked seeing it wriggling around. Becky (I thought she was playing along) pulls on some goggles and jumps in set to conquer the demon of the water. So I decided to 'help' and basically just dove down, came up pretending it was attacking me, yada, yada. All well, ends well. I can't decide whether it was funny or I'm just an annoying asshole. Take your pick.

2002-08-13T01:44:00.000-04:00

I bought a shirt. A red shirt. And I like it, I do, but I can't wear it. You see, it was one of those *new* shirts that is made to look old. The irony of this drives me fucking insane. INSANE!!! I've been swearing a lot lately, not that it bothers me. Swears are just words, and I'm not really sure that words mean anything at all. Think about it-god knows who or what started putting sounds together and coming up with this shit. But it's how we communicate. And in other parts of earth, people were making different noises for different things and in the process created different languages. What makes any word have meaning? It's like that catch phrasen from Shakesphere about a how a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. We could call the common rose, shit, still it would hold the same meaning...maybe it's all about things and were all modern-materialistics in our own right and words just kind of come with the package. Bleh, I'm lost. I'm going to go find myself (and not in a figurative manner, literally I'm sending out a search party for myself) I am here my mind is there. Slight detachment.

2002-08-13T01:34:00.000-04:00

The last time that there was supposed to be a meteor shower, it was spectacular. I'm talking left and right, multi-meteor action, hardcore, astronomy action. Bickity Bam. This one for the most part has been one of the cocktease meteor showers where you have to wield all those annoying things like patience and skills of that genre. So due to the recent fasination of stars, myself and Kelsey (fuck proper grammar right up it's ass) decided to check it out. So us two, Brad, and Derek met up at about 11:30 and after realizing the havoc of light pollution on my fucking rural cul-de-sac, went to the park where we could a.) get kicked out by the cops like everywhere else there is to go that's non-chaotic. Or b.) fucking enjoy ourselves. B was the opted one, and we did just that. In between meteors that sparsely came we dicussed things of very great matter, such as which is better to call someone of dislike...twat or cunt? We choose cunt if your wondering. I'm aware of the digust of that. We only saw several but it was worth it in it's own right. There's not much cooler than that one second where it streaks across the sky and your mind is completly and utterly void of anything for that one second of silence in your mind you experience that of not being able to do anything but look. It's so surreal (I don't think that's the right word) it's just a falling rock after all. Falling fast. And it's just completly numbing.

2002-08-12T00:44:00.000-04:00

Peanut Butter Jelly and a baseball bat.

2002-08-10T20:34:00.000-04:00

8/10/2002
I think I missed generation fuck up by a really small margin, but I got them beat. At least thats what I like to belive. It really saves my sanity during my day job, where I can look at these kids and picture this gap in between our generations, which I make larger and larger when I visualize it and feel relieved. The 80's were great, we can all agree on that. Let's think about the 90's- our desperate and failed attempts to bring back the 60's, 70's and 80's with bell bottoms, music, mullets, drugs and fashion trends. What child born in the 90's will survive? Save yourself.

2002-08-10T01:06:00.000-04:00

What a stupid, stupid race of beings we are. And what stupid little catchphrases we create. As a whole, we are not as funny as we think we are-it's when we break it down into pieces that we see that maybe-just maybe you can put that smidgen of hope into the human race. But then you think about it a little more, and think about how funny doing that is in itself. Your refrigerators running, better go and catch it-let's venture into that arena. I have very firm beliefs that if I were a fridge, I wouldn't go fucking anywhere. A.) I wiegh about a gazillion pounds, and they don't make the equivlent of a 'rascal' or 'scooter' of you will for home appliances, so moving in itself could be quite a challange. B.) I am filled with a shitload (another wierd one- how much shit is in a shitload?) of food in me. I would be so innerly content with that alone. Unless I am one of those shitty fridges that you open and find only artichoke hearts, a crusty lasanga, and a bottle of mustard. Then I might move (not run) out of spite, and to commit home appliance suicide. C.) If I were to run, how would I survive on my own? As my plug yoinked from the socket, my life support is shot, goodbye ice cream and other respected perishable products. Despite lore and myth, fridges are not self-sufficent machines. And why does the early bird catch the worm? There is a very decent bird to worm ratio so that's shit. I bet the cool bird's that really know what's going sleep in until noon, snicker at the bags underneath their commardes eyes, go to some other spot and feast. I sincerely hope that's the case. Also, I want to meet the sick bastard who created the 'eye for an eye' the moral is understood but how was the whole eye thing brought into it? I mean did someone take this mans eye and he thought that spooning this guys eye out was the solution? And created a sick, sick catchphrase in the process? Was there not a tamer approach. Equal punishment for the offender, that's what I'm telling my kids. I think I'd like to lose an eye at some point in my life, I was deprived of a cool nickname as a child and never had anything special that kid's could give me some wierd name about. I think I could have some cool nicknames if I had to wear an eyepatch. Patchy, One-eyed monster, Pirate woman (it kind of has a superhero aire to it), Smee, and I'm sure people would go 'argh!' a hell of a lot and I would be greatly amused for like, a week then chances are I'd get pretty sick of it. At that given point, I would most likely wish that I had my eye back.